The Wall
The
third bell rang. I knew I was running
out of time. The wall would be closing
soon and then I would be lost. I glanced
at my watch. I had two minutes. I ran down the hall, dodging all the
people. I looked at the people, where
was my mom? I tripped. I rolled. I looked up, there was a crowd of people
surrounding me. Now I would never make it
in time. I stood up, and continued to
run. I stopped. There was the wall. I stepped through, but I was too late, the wall
closed, I was stuck in the wall.
Hello Celary,
ReplyDeleteYour use of short sentences immediately shared the tension your character felt when trying to get to the wall before it closed. When we're excited or scared, we don't react with long sentences and thoughts but quick grasping of ideas as our mind tries to cope with what's happening. Well done.
I hope you can keep entering the 100WC. It's a great way to share your adventures with the world.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia
Thank you Rmannell
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